The PMS Factor

I started having PMS symptoms this morning. As always it starts with a mild pain on the right sides of my boobies. They get progressively worse over the next five days and just when I think I'll poke my boobies with a skewer and let out all the air because the pain is driving me crazy, AF comes by.

I never used to have PMS. As a matter of fact, about when I started having PMS was when my hormonal shenanigans started. The first time ever I had PMS some months after I got hitched. I sincerely thought I was pregnant. Then all my hpt's came back negative, my period was a month late. When it finally came it was heavy with a capital H and full of clots.

From then on they came irregular and crampy. Then I had the mother of all periods the following year when again it was delayed for 3 months and after that I bled for 3 months straight. I ended up in the emergency ward and was told I probably had a ruptured cyst. I was put on Provera to stop the bleeding and induce a period.

At this point I began to look in to PCOS. When I suggested to my doctor that I may have it, he brushed it aside, saying since my ultrasound scan didn't show anything unusual, it was unlikely that I had it. Yet he couldn't explain my irregular periods or why I wan't ovulating. None of the 3 different doctors I saw could give me a valid explanation, I kept asking them why now, why all of a sudden, what triggered the hormonal imbalance. No answer!

Anyway, ever since that first incident, my PMS has come to stay. It makes me worried that I may still not be ovulating. Because when I didn't have PCOS I didn't have PMS. And PMS is after all, a sign of hormonal imbalance.

In any case, all my speculations and theorizing will be put to rest once Dh get's back and we start Bd'ing on a regular basis. I'm more determined about BD now that there is a higher probability that I could get preggy. Henceforth I'll be the one tackling him to the ground. Previously I had zero interest... but that's another post for anther day. Bottom line is I can't wait to get back in the sack and I pray everything goes well.

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I found this interesting video about the female hormonal cycle. And the little I gather is that my particular PMS could be caused by high oestrogen levels. Anyway, it's worth watching if you want to understand your cycles or if like me, you're plagued by PMS and want to understand its precursors. The good news here (and Thank God there is one!) is that according to Dr. Anderson, about 80% of hormonal imbalances is caused by disturbances in the blood sugar; either it being too high or too low. And that rectifying that would likely restore normalcy in the system. Phew!

Enjoy, :)

Funk

I've been feeling under the weather lately. To be precise, since I started taking the Metformin. I don't mind the side effects of farting, and rushing off to the toilet every now and then. But this lack of energy, lack of enthusiasm and general shittiness seems to be doing me in.

I wake up tired and sleepy. No creativity. No passion. I'm a walking vegetable!

The last time I felt this was was when I was at my heaviest. Back when I was sleeping more than 15 hours a day and wolfing down carbs like my life depended on it.

I'm depressed. I've been depressed for the past week. So many other things going on on the side besides PCOS. Sometimes I just want to scream loudly on top of my lungs. I wish I could squeeze my eyes shut till it hurt, and when I open them all those problems have melted away.

Wish there was someone I could talk to. My friend, K, has her own shit to deal with. There's my BF who's shit is spilling out the sides of her bowl, I won't find an empathic ear there. Can't talk to my mum 'cuz I don't want to get her bp up. Can't talk to DH either, 'cuz if I break down, that will break him down. I just feel so frustrated. Being all alone in this house doesn't help. I feel trapped.

Yes, I know it's a chemical thing. Because I was fine before I started taking the Met. Even then there's no escaping it's effects. I try to cheer myself up. Read and watch things that make me laugh. But it's temporary, and artificial.

I can be patient though; for what I want I don't mind a thousand depressions to get it. And I can see some positive signs, so I'll hang in there.

The only reason I'm hanging on is because of you,
The 'you' that is not yet born,
You'll never know what I went through,
You'll never understand when I'm harsh with my love,
For to have had you, I had to dig deep, really deep inside
To find the strength I never knew I had.

I FINALLY OVULATED.... I think.

I felt a fluttering in my tummy yesterday. Last night I noticed some CM after going to the toilet but it wasn't much. Then this morning on my way to the hospital for my blood test I felt a pain in my ass, literally. It's a pain I've always had in the past whenever I'm ovulating. An ass pain that makes it hard for me to sit down, sneeze or fart.

As soon as I got home I did an OPK test and got a BFP! 

Sorry about the wee bit of wee on the tip. I still couldn't believe my eyes, so I did three tests and they all came back significantly positive! I know this time there is definitely an LH surge FOR SURE. Whether or not my ovaries actually mature an egg is another matter. The OPK's only confirm an LH surge but not actual ovulation. 

My journey is only half way there. But I am so happy, so thankful to God that my body is responding to treatment. If Dh were around, we'd be doing the BD by now! But he's travelled, but there is hope for us this year. I pray he gets back soon so we can 'experiment' to make sure my tubes are open and his little swimmers are healthy. 

I'm also a bit worried about LPD. My last period was on the 19th of May. My next one is expected to start on the 21 of June. It's been two days apart for sometime now. If I'm ovulating on the 9th/10th of June, then my estimated leutal phase is roughly 11 days, which is considered not long enough. The average length of time between ovulation and the next menstrual date should be at least 14 days. Anything less than 12 can result in early miscarriage. Thankfully that can be remedied by taking vitamin B6 or applying progesterone cream. Phew!

Even then, there's so much stuff to worry about. God help me!

In the meantime, keeping up my weight loss. 8.8kg more to go to hit my target BMI. My hope is to be pregnant by the time I get to the end of my weight loss journey. 

I'm also taking a cocktail of herbs aside from my Met. 

Higher Nature Dong Quai and Agnus Castus

Evening Primrose Oil to alleviate PMS symptoms

Vitamin D supplements 

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CM - cervical mucus, indicative ovulation
OPK- ovulation prediction kits
BFP - big fat positive, signifying a positive result
BD - baby dance
LH - leutinizing hormone, released in high amounts immediately before ovulation
LPD - leutal phase defect, when the time period between ovulation and menstruation
BMI - body mass index
PMS - premenstrual syndrome

Feeling Shitty!

I've been feeling shitty lately. I occasionally wake up with headaches, which aren't serious enough to warrant paracetamol, but for the past three days it's been noticeable - banging away on my head. This morning I had to drink a cup of tea to perk me up because I couldn't muster the energy to work. Normally I don't take anything with caffeine.

I also feel sleepy during the day and hardly want to sleep at night. I can't concentrate for long and my depression is back. I was depressed all day today. For no particular reason, just out of the blue, smack! I start feeling like shit.

Could I be suffering from low blood sugar?

I don't have an appetite since I started taking met. I started craving sweet things, but other than that, I don't generally feel like eating. I have to force myself to eat, and I only eat when I remember that I haven't eaten, not because I'm hungry.

I'm seriously considering going off met for a while and see how my body reacts.

I was already on a low-GI diet before I started taking met. I was also loosing weight steadily. Now that I'm on met, I'm putting on weight and feeling like shit that has been left to dry in the sun.

What The Heck is Going On???

I've been happily loosing weight now for the last four months. I'm getting towards the end of my weight loss journey and now for some inexplicable reason, I'm stuck!

My weight has been stuck for the past 3 weeks even though my waist and hips are getting smaller. I seem to have put on a kilo between this week and last week. That's after not loosing anything last month from when my PMS started until my period ended.

It sucks! Things have been going so well, wtf is going on?

Could it be the Metformin? I've heard a lot of women complain that it made them put on weight. Could it be the same with me? Should I go off it for a month and see if I loose weight? But then, if I do, I may not ovulate on my own? What then?

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If met is the culprit I need to start looking at other ways to reduce my IR. I've always had an aversion for prescribed drugs. Because all drugs have a side effect, and taking a particular drug over a long period of time can cause more problems on the long run. If it were up to me (not my darn body) I would do everything naturally. But obviously in life we don't get everything we want. *sigh*