Premenstrual Insomnia

In  my pre-PCOS and pre-PMS past, the only symptom I had of knowing my period was imminent was a pre-period insomnia. I didn't have any bbs pain, no fatigue and no cramps. I just know that for some reason, no matter how much sleeping pills I popped I would be unable to sleep the night before my period starts.

I've been reading online that it is caused by a rapid drop in progesterone, which happens if the egg is not fertilised. Progesterone is a relaxant, which is why a lot of women feel fatigued during their 2ww and which is why fatigue is commonly assosicated with PMS symptoms. Apparently some women can have it for days, but luckily I only have it for one day. And what's weird about mine is that I don't feel tired the following day. I don't feel like someone that spent the night listening to upstairs neighbours waking up to pee, and hearing the water flow down the pipes when they flush. If fact I wake up energetic!

Though I haven't had this in a while, I knew I had it coming yesterday night when by 2 am I was barely yawning.

I am blessed to have a lot of internal indicators that I don't need to rely on other means of determining whether or not I'm ovulating or indeed, whether or not my body is producing enough progesterone in my LP. My body is actually really good when it's behaving well. I can save money on OPK's and save time temping, not that I do either anyway.

At least now I know for sure that I AM ovulating and my body IS releasing an egg. Phew!

It's good news!

I'm out!

This is the exact same thing that happened last time. All my symptoms build up to a crescendo and 2 days to AF they disappear. I was so hoping that wouldn't be the case this month, but I woke up this morning and even my nipps are no longer painful. I don't feel anything at all, not even my PMS bbs pain. Absolutely nothing!

I was really hoping to get preggy this month, so I could share birthdays with my baby. Also, when I think of everything my Dh went through just so we could BD I believe the Universe owes us a BFP! (Don't ask what the universe can do for you, but what you can do for the universe, lol)

Ah well. I'm not going to cling unto false hopes this time, I'll just accept things and move on... start psyching msyelf for my HSG. I still shudder at the prospect of it though.

I'll update on how it goes.

*UPDATE*

Those sharp pains in my left pelvis are back. They put me to bed last night feeling miserable. It's been on and off since I woke up this morning. It's more pronounced when I'm walking or when I bend over while praying. Earlier today I climbed up a flight of stairs, when I got to the top I was doubled over in pain. It freaked me out! And I'm still freaked out. Probably a darn cyst or something. If it persists despite AF I'll have to book an appointment with my GP.

12 Dpo

Mehn, I want to chop off my nipps right about now. They hurt like hell when anything rubs up against them.

Bbs are fine. PMS bbs pain haven't started yet, but I suspect by the end of the day I'll start feeling it. My PMS bbs pain have been getting progressively milder by the month, so I wasn't expecting anything out of the ordinary. My energy levels are tip top, no fatigue.

I still get an occasional discomfort in my lower abs and also some very mild, only-noticeable-because-I'm-paying-close-attention-to-my-body, butt pain. I did get a feeling earlier on that made me curse because I thought a UTI imminent, when I'd just finished battling one about a month ago, but it turned out to be nothing.

There are other symptoms that I've been having but I'm only noting them down for future reference. In case this cycle turns out to be a bust, and I have the same symptoms in future I won't read too many meanings into it and get my hopes up.

Constipation - for the amount of cups of tea I drink and the amount of fibre I eat, I was unpleasantly surprised to feel constipated these past couple of days.

Funny taste in the mouth - no, it's not the proverbial "metallic taste", I'm not that ambitious.

Craving - just one craving, on one particular day. About two days ago I just HAD TO HAVE CHOCOLATE! I so craved it the mere thought of it had me salivating. It was a one off thing, I love chocolate but since I went Low GI I haven't had cravings.

Peeing - yesterday I peed like a fish (if fish pee, that is). I woke up 3 times during the night to pee, I just couldn't seem to empty my bladder.

Itchy bbs and nipps - felt it for a couple of days, lasted a few seconds.

Palpitations - I felt heart palpitations while making Dh's dinner earlier.

That's all for now. I'm not going to POAS until I've missed a period. Not gonna waste my money... I've been there, done that.

Still, fingers crossed. Hoping and praying this is my month. Ya Allah!

I Must Be Doing A Few Things Right!

My scan went well. There is dramatic improvement on my right ovary, but my left ovary is still poly-cystic although both are not as heavily poly-cystic as they were in May. Clearly I'm doing a few things right! I'm more motivated than ever now to keep up my current lifestyle. 

There is hope that I can completely rid myself of poly-cystic ovaries. Woot!

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Another improvement to shout about - my periods have gone from 35/36 days to 31 days! Just 3 days shy of the proverbial 'normal' cycle *gloat*

And also, my ovulation pain have gone from crippling butt pain that I can't sit or poop to mild butt pain. 

It's improvements all around... except for the darn pregnancy thing... ugh!

Which brings me to the 2ww front, nothing new to report, unfortunately (or fortunately). It's 5dpo and I feel my usual self, except that my nipples are painful to the touch and I feel a little fatigued. The last time I had nipple pain was in 2008, when I thought I was pregggy. Didn't get my period in three months then had a massive bleed that went on forever. Of course I'm not pinning my hopes on a pair of tender nipps because for some weird reason, they've been tender even before I ov'd. I'm not sure if it's because I stopped drinking my Spearmint Tea or if it's because I had a mad craving for soy milk earlier in my cycle - both could explain the high levels of estrogen, hence the tender nipps. 

I have been thinking about how women (myself included) indulge in 2ww obsessions, even though in reality  most women don't know they are preggy until about 4 - 6 weeks. My best friend who is 4 months preggy has not had a single symptom to date - no nausea, no dodgy breast pain, no fatigue, nothing. I know, I know, every woman is different, yada yada yada... 

I just wonder if we're stressing ourselves for nothing. What if we are among those asymptomatic women? Then again, I think, women who don't have problems trying to conceive don't really pay much attention to their bodies. Some things are easy to miss unless they are unusual. So, they may very well have had 'some' symptoms which they didn't pay any attention to. 

So, to every woman her obsession!

In any case, I honestly believe one or both of my tubes are blocked and that's why I'm not getting preggy. Can't wait for my HSG next month. If after that I still don't get preggy, THEN I will happily and guiltlessly throw myself against the wall when I get my period.

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Finally, you know how women often say they had vivid dreams about having a baby in their 2ww. Well, I had mine last night. And typical of my dreams, it was quite bizarre. I dreamt that I was driving past a field of cows somewhere in America, which also happened to be a children's park here in London which had playground with kids playing in it. Then the cows simultaneously started giving birth. 

But the cows weren't giving birth to calves, they were birthing fully grown men. As soon as the first 'man baby' popped out, a bunch of American military men swooped in and surrounded the area. The 'man baby' was covered in a jelly like substance and the umbilical chord was still attached to the mama cow. Then one of the military men rushed up to him, wiped the goo off his mouth and the 'man baby' began to state the precise location he was in. He mentioned the latitude and longitude and how much distance was from the sea. Then the military man nodded his head and shouted, 'This one is fully formed!', and then some other military men came and carted him away... and thats when I woke up. 

It was so vivid I can still see everything clearly. Spooky! *shrugs* 

Quick Update

I know I haven’t been blogging as often as I should or reading all the blogs on my blogroll, I apologize ladies, J I’ve been buried under a ton of personal stuff. Mehn… stress DOES kill!

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I got a message from the hospital last week saying I should call them back immediately. I was scared shitless as to why they would be calling, and when I couldn’t get through all sorts of thoughts were going through my head. They finally called back just to ask if I could come in earlier than my scheduled appointment date for a scan and a blood test. I was so relieved I said yes. It just so happened when they called I was rushing my husband to the Accident and Emergency so I couldn’t ask why, guess I’ll find out tomorrow.

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My HSG has been scheduled for 8^th of November. I honestly don’t know what to expect. Every woman reacts differently to HSG with pain thresholds ranging from mild period-like cramps to extreme labour cramps. At this point I really don’t care how painful it’s going to get, as long as it unblocks any inherent blockages. (I lie, haha… I’ll put up with temporary pain, I just pray it doesn’t follow me home and stay the night).

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And finally, I ov’d on the 17^th, technically today is 2DPO. I started feeling bloated in my lower abdomen after doing a wee earlier this evening. It feels heavy and quite uncomfortable, but could just be gas. Other than that and I’m trying not to think about it and going about my usual business. This month has been a crazy month, to be honest I don’t have high hopes of getting preggy. If it happens, it happens.