Saturday, 24 September 2011

PCOS and Pregnancy

I thought I should touch briefly on how my PCOS and pregnancy have been getting along.

My acne is back full force. Not just on my back, chest and face, but it seems to be popping up on my tummy and thighs as well. I’ve always had acne, and it went away pre Bob, but it’s really bad around now, worse than when I was a teenager with hormones dribbling down my nostrils. At times like this I wish I were dark skinned. I can only hope after my hormones get back to normal the black spots will lighten up somewhat over time.

-I’ve become more hirsuite on my chin, chest and belly. I read that it’s normal for hair growth to increase due to the pregnancy hormones, but when your tummy looks like Chewbacca and you’re pulling hairs off your chin, you’re not exactly going to be high-fiving random strangers with glee.

-Weight gain was happening slowly and now seems to be speeding up on its own accord. I’m only now back at the weight I was pre Bob. I lost 8kg early on due to morning sickness and general lack of appetite. I still try to eat healthy as best as I can, but when I started getting headaches from eating low GI foods, I realized I needed to step up my carb in take. The one thing I’m happy about is I’ve been able to tolerate my morning oats. That’s really helped with constipation and putting some food in my belly when I couldn’t stand much else.

-My glucose tolerance test to detect gestational diabetes is going to take place next month. That determines whether or not I get put back on Met. Fingers crossed.

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Midwife appointment is next week Thursday. Loads of stuff to discuss, particularly my extremely short to non-existent perineum that’s been giving me sleepless nights. I’ve been having nightmares about tears, fistulas and every horrible thing that could go wrong during labour. Considering I want a completely natural childbirth I want this particular issue cleared up before I’m cowered into an epidural.

Antenatal classes also start next week. Yey!

Thursday, 21 July 2011

So Sad


The sister of Dh’s childhood friend committed suicide recently, sparking numerous discussions on and off line. Generally people don’t think a young girl of 25 that comes from a wealthy home, had a very good job, was highly educated, beautiful and intelligent should take her own life. That she had been depressed for a long time didn’t make her suicide come as any less of a surprise.

There’s something about depression in Nigeria that makes people not take it seriously. Because unlike other conditions its symptoms have no outward wounds or signs, you don’t break out in hives, your nose doesn’t turn purple neither do your ears fall off. A depressed person is trapped in a silent, vicious cycle of self-doubt, insignificance, helplessness and loneliness. There’s something eating away at their soul and shredding their insides to bits. Sometimes all it takes to pull them out of it is for an acknowledgement from another person that the pain they feel is real and they are not alone. The more people try to remedy them by ignoring it or expecting them to snap out of it without talking to them about it, the worse it gets. And it eventually builds up to a climax. Only a sufferer can understand the internal turmoil that leads to a person taking their own life.

There are many rumours about what triggered her suicidal tendencies; apparently she’d tried to kill herself last year. I don’t know which of these stories are true, and I don’t want to repeat them here for fear of slandering the dead but what strikes me is the glee with which her tragedy is being reported, in a ‘serves her right’ tone. As if people who are materially blessed can’t bruise too. As if suicide is a rich mans disease. Whatever her problems were, I’m sure with proper counselling and support she would have pulled through. Whatever mistakes she’d made, she needed to hear that it’s not the end of the world.

A lot of Nigerian parents maintain an emotional distance from their children. How many of them say the words ‘I love you’ to their children? It’s not just enough to put a roof over their head and food in their stomach; those are the very basic duty of parenthood. I know you can’t give what you don’t have, but parents should be more discerning of their childrens emotional needs. Some children need more hugs than others. Sometimes children go through situations where they need to be told that they are loved and appreciated and valued and should never think less of themselves no matter what life throws their way. If this poor girl really felt less of a human being, she didn’t need more money thrown at her to make her happy again.

I can’t imagine how her family feel. It’s heartbreaking when someone you love dies, more so when they take their own life. 

Monday, 18 July 2011

Bob

The scan went very well. Alhamdulillah!

Dh and I were very excited we got there 30minutes ahead of schedule but only waited about 5mins to be seen. It was so clear right away! I could see the huge smile on Dh's face when he saw his little Bob. Some women would have cried but I'm not one to cry in public, haha...

We got to see Bob's head, eye sockets, hands, feet, spine, stomach, strong heartbeat - he looked perfect chilling in there like nobody's business. Just like his mum who loves sleeping on her stomach he had his back to us the whole time. The sonographer tried to jiggle my tummy to get him to turn but he wasn't interested. He occasionally turned to the side but that was all the cooperation we were going to get out of him. As a result the sonographer couldn't get a clear view so his neck couldn't be measured to access our risk of Downs Syndrome. The blood test option which is the alternative to neck measurement is too early to carry out because I'm 14 weeks. So he told me to come back next week Monday (at 15weeks) for a blood test. I told Dh I might not go because knowing or not knowing will change nothing for us.

Bob's measurements showed that I am actually 2 days ahead. The gestational age is 14 weeks + 2 days, which would put my EDD at 14th January instead of 16th. But he said it doesn't matter since it's not a big difference and left it unchanged.

There are many woman who don't leave their first scan smiling, and for that we were very grateful. We didn't get any pictures or videos though. I rather wait to see my baby.

Sunday, 17 July 2011

First Scan

Tomorrow is our first scan! Actually it would have been our first if I didn't have the previous 3 scans earlier. I'm excited and scared shitless nonetheless. I just want everything to be okay, really.  It's too early to tell what kind of Bob it is.

The scan would have been the perfect birthday present if it didn't come a day late though. Yup, it's official, this is the last year I get to use the phrase 'in my late twenties'. Dh gave me a big suprise with tickets to the London Eye later today. Yey! He's the only person that buys me gifts on my birthday. I haven't bought a present for anyone since I left high school not even for my Dh. Where birthdays are concerned, I'm not at all sentimental. I don't celebrate them in the conventional sense of celebration. My idea of celebration is being alive to thank my Creator for all my years here on earth, for my parents and for all He's blessed me with (I know, I'm boring). And if I was invited to a birthday party I'd bake or cook something rather than buy gifts. If you want shit, go buy them yourself!

I'm so excited about our outing! I prefer spending time together instead of another bottle of perfume. We've both been paying lip service to visiting the sights in London. If he's not away with business, it's always been one thing or another that comes up. Now with a baby on the way and us being less likely to have time to be tourists he figured the sooner we get it over and done with, the better. And a good thing too. I love that guy. I've wanted to have his baby from the first time I laid eyes on him.

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As far as my symptoms are concerned nausea and sickness had abated whats left is a nasty taste in my mouth after I eat. I'm still tired but not exhauseted. Appetite has definitely increased although I'm not putting on weight. Bbs pain has gone away significantly. It still aches some days more than others, so do my nips but they're more tolerable and I can enjoy sleeping face down again. I'm not technically 'showing' yet though I seem to be piling on fat around my stomach even though I'm not putting on weight overall which is strange and slightly worrysome. I'm hoping it's not PCOS flaring up on me. I haven't been exercising though I'm still maintaining my healthy eating as best as I can.

Friday, 15 July 2011

Hospital Birth VS Home Birth


Yesterday the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists made a recommendation for more women to have their babies at home instead of the hospital. There’s been a lot of furore from proponents and critics alike. The RCOBG claims that home births are safer, labour is easier for the mother and leads to less complications. However, the statistics, critics claim are skewered because while proponents claim that home births are safer those that don’t go well and end up in the hospital are classified as hospital births gone wrong rather than home births gone wrong.

I was listening to Julia Hartley-Brewer on LBC yesterday and she was vehemently against home births. She had some valid points worth consideration, mainly that:

- Birthing should not be about ‘the experience’ but about getting the baby out as safely as possible while keeping mum as healthy as possible. For her it’s was a purely clinical procedure. She thinks its selfish of women to put their babies at risk giving birth at home knowing anything could go wrong at any moment and emergency medical intervention will not be immediately available. She herself had to have an emergency caesarean after baby’s heartbeat started declining. (She also admitted she was drugged to the teeth)

- A lot of fairy tales have step mothers precisely because childbirth was the single biggest killer of women since the early ages. A lot of these women died unnecessarily because something went wrong during home labour, likewise a lot of babies died when they could have been saved. She doesn’t see why women should shun the potentially life saving advances in modern medicine for an archaic method with an unfortunate track record.

- Infant mortality is lower in countries with advanced medical practices than in countries where traditional birthing practices are still in use. 

- It’s more expensive because you hog two midwives for a home birth, whereas in the hospital one midwife can attend to multiple woman simultaneously.

For her it’s a clinical procedure, like having a tooth pulled out. You go in, get medicated, get it out and all is well.

The advocates of home birth who called into the show also had some valid points:

- A woman is more comfortable in her home surroundings will be more relaxed and is more likely to have a shorter and comparatively less painless labour than being in a hospital.

- Being in a relaxed atmosphere she can manage the pain better, is less likely to need pain relief as well as episiotomies.

- Midwifery has come a very long way since the middle ages. Midwives nowadays are very capable and react accordingly should labour deteriorates and the woman needs medical intervention. They also work with the women all through their pregnancies to ensure they are making an informed choice and are aware of the options open to them.

- One medical intervention leads to subsequent medical interventions. For instance a woman that’s been given an epidural is more likely to require forceps delivery than one who was not given one.

- Finally, with hospital resources stretched thin and budget cuts everywhere women are better off giving birth at home so they can get the full attention they need at that crucial moment in their life rather than being cared for by frazzled, overworked midwives who are prone to errors.

I’ve heard and read personal experiences of women from both sides of the spectrum; all very subjective. None of my ‘mommy’ friends have anything good to say about hospital births. They had complaints like rude midwives, midwives that gave them episiotomies, midwives that didn’t give them one, feeling pressured into doing things that wasn’t in their birth plan. With most things related to the female species, what was a wonderful experience for one woman might be a horrible experience for another. However on the whole there are MORE horrible hospital experiences than there are home birth experiences. What’s weird though is that the women that talk about successful hospital births are mostly women whose labour took a turn for the worse and needed intervention and were ‘saved’.

I’ve been considering my birth plan so this discussion has come at an excellent time. A birthing center is the closest thing to a home birth. We have one that is literally across the street from us. There’s a hospital 15-20minutes away. The birthing center is 100% midwife run. There are no doctors or anaesthesiologists. Like a homebirth it’s only for low risk pregnancies. There are birthing pools, balls and all that jazz but you don’t get assigned a midwife, they work on shifts and if there’s an emergency they call the ambulance.

The hospital is where my endocrinologist works. Last year he said he was looking forward to having me give birth with them. We only met once but he made me feel comfortable. I’m hoping his attitude is a reflection of the maternity ward (wonderful logic there). It’s the closest hospital and if something were to go wrong (God forbid!) I’d definitely end up there.  On one hand I would feel comfortable walking across the street to have my baby and walk ing back home to rest after that. On the other hand I’m thinking, this is my first baby, I don’t know how my body is going to react. For now I’m classified as low risk, but anything could happen. No woman prays for it, but that’s the reality – you just never know what’s gonna happen. In any case I don’t want to regret not doing a 15 minute drive should something go wrong.

In a few months time I’ll get to visit both places, have a look around, speak to the staff and maybe get a chance to talk to some fresh mums about their experience (if I am allowed to) before I finally make up my mind. I think its important to know what options are available so one can make an informed decision. 

Meanwhile the debate continues. 

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