Sunday, 26 June 2011

Worry Wart.


When I was still ttc I used to get annoyed at pregnant women moaning about their aches and pains. As far as I was concerned these women are just plain ungrateful and I had not a tiny bit of sympathy for them. They have been bestowed with a great blessing yet, here they were moaning about it. Oh, how wrong I was! These women weren’t complaining because they were pregnant. As I’ve learnt in the early stages of pregnancy, complaining/moaning is the only way of affirming the pregnancy.

According to my last scan, Bob should be just over 4 centimetres long yet I wake up everyday feeling like the top half of my body had been run over by a truck and by the end of the day I’m feeling as if I’d been hauling sacks of beans about all day. When you are not showing, and your body plays all sorts of tricks on you, you just have to find a way to keep sane. When something so tiny turns your world upside down, weird as it sounds, complaining is really the only form of pain relief. Dh is handling the complaints very well so far. Though when I over do it he doesn’t hesitate to tell me to shut up. Which I know I deserve…

Anyway, I promised myself not to worry and that’s exactly what I’m not doing. I caught a cough from my 3 year old cousin last week and I had a particularly bad bout of it while lying on my stomach which put pressure on my lower abs and caused me to double with pain. Now I’m worried something has gone wrong. Is it possible to cough out a fetus? I’m just wondering…

I haven’t had any cramps lately which I used to get a lot off initially and dutifully moaned about. My bb pain has significantly alleviated while as of yesterday my morning sickness has now become all-day sickness and I'm always hungry even though I still have zero appetite. Being the worry wart I’ve attributed all these to something being ‘wrong’.

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Had my first appointment with the midwife last week. Dh was happy to tag along. He’s been coming with me to all the visits so far, which I think is cute and had better enjoy while it lasts. They asked a shitload of questions and took like 5 vials of blood. She asked if I had a problem with needles, I said not when you’re infertile. I’ve lost count of the number of blood tests I’ve done in the past 4 years. You kinda get used to seeing your blood being drained out of you. It’s all good!

The funniest thing was when they asked if the baby belonged to my partner. I hesitated to answer because I just thought, with Dh sat right next to me, if it (God-forbid, I-would-rather-die-than-have-that-happen, damn-you-Satan!) wasn’t his, would I have said no. Then of course we all burst out laughing… and the midwifes said, well, on a serious note, they’ve had patients who weren’t carrying their spouse’s child. Eeks!

I still can’t believe this is happening. I keep expecting to have someone tap me on the shoulder and say, oops, you’re having someone elses dream. Next scan is in July – counting the days! I’ll be praying hard for a healthy baby and hope everything goes well.

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