I'm sick and tired of eating oats every single day. When I started low carbing, I was all gungho for oats, my freaking taste buds couldn't get enough. I've gradually grown into it, I'm pretty sure if you checked my DNA now you'll find strands of oat RNA lodged somewhere. There's just way too much fibre that I'm shitting twice a day now.
It's Muesli for breakfast, brown basmati rice and veggies for lunch and fruits for dinner or oat cake or oat flapjacks!
Let's look at other alternatives: there's bran, which I hate. Nothing can make bran sexy for me. Ever! You can give it all the plastic surgery in the world and it will still be bran to me. There's rye bread which I tried, but hated. It tasted too yeasty for me, reminded me of one guy that stood behind me while we were queueing up at the bank. His freaking alcoholic breath kept wafting into my nose. And when I moved forward, and away from him, he'd close the gap. People whose breaths reek of alcohol shouldn't be too conscientious about 'closing the gap' whenever they're in a queue. I didn't say anything, I didn't even want to see his face because I know it will be registered in my twisted mind for the rest of his life.
Then there's shredded wheat, which I love and apparently has a GI of 67, what can I do to lower it further? And of course, I hate bread because if I can't have it with jam or honey, I'd rather not have it at all. What else is there that's low carb and doesn't make me seethe with raw anger as I chomp down every bite?
What the heck else is out there, for crying out loud!!
I hate this shit! I'm a free spirited woman, nobody tells me what to eat or when or how or with whom or with what and why. I come and go like the freaking breeze! Low carbing is the only 'diet' I've ever stuck to for this long because it's the only one that's worked so far. Reverting to my previous lifestyle will be like purposely entering an elevator alone with a serial rapist. So I'm not going anywhere, you hear me, you low carb bastard!
Excuse me while I go on a fact finding mission *Off to the library* Got to find me some breakfast alternatives before I stab someone out of frustration. I can imagine the story breaking on BBC and there I am being hauled away screaming, 'It's the oats! The oats got me!!'