7 Weeks

Our scan went well last Friday. The baby is growing where it's supposed to be and we even saw its tiny heart beating away. I was so excited, and so was DH. I think it's finally sunk in that he's going to be a father. For men the proof is more visual. He confessed that he wasn't sure how to react when we did the test and it was positive. He had to eyeball the instruction until he was confident that a lighter test line is still a confirmation.

I had some spotting last Thursday, which I told the GP about. She said it's not normal and booked me in for another scan in 2 weeks just to make sure everything is okay. I'm going to sit back and take it one day at a time. No stressing over it and no unnecessary worries. Whatever happens, happens, all I can do is make sure I keep fit and do everything within my power to maintain a healthy body and hopefully, a healthy pregnancy too.

As far as my symptoms are concerned. My bbs REALLY hurt and they feel hard and lumpy. I've only thrown up once, thank God. Still have nausea though and certain foods make me want to be sick. Which means my appetite has literally gone down the drain. I'm ALWAYS tired, don't seem to have the energy for anything these days. I'm so constipated it's not even funny. I used to be regular, sometimes twice a day. Now I'd be lucky if I can go once a day. I'm increasing my fibre intake, but that's hard to do when you don't have any appetite. Occasional back pain. My tummy feels bloated. I wake up feeling like I'd just had a 3 course meal. Aside from lack of appetite, my stomach seems to have shrunk so even when eating foods that appeal to me, I get quickly satiated after just a few spoonfuls.

There's lots of other uncomfortable things happening, but I wouldn't change it for the world and I would freak out if they stopped. I can't wait to be kicked in the ribs. Yey! Bring it on little Bob. 

5 Weeks 3 Days

Our IUI information session is next week Thursday. Unfortunately the next available appointment for the scan is on Friday, the day after, aaaaaarrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhh!!

*pounds fists in frustration*

I was hoping to at least get the scan done a day before or on the day of the IUI so that if it turned out to be ectopic we would still go ahead with the IUI as a second option, instead of waiting forever to conceive again. But now I cannot in all good conscience go to an IUI session pretending I’m not pregnant. We’ve waited over 6 months to get the appointment, waited 4 years to get pregnant…. Gosh. It’s so hard to decide. I’ll call the nurse next week and ask if I should still come in even if I suspect that I may be pregnant… I just don’t want to make a wrong move, get crossed off the list then we find out that it’s ectopic, or there’s no baby growing in there.

Hey, I’m just being realistic and keeping my options open. Nobody wants to have an ectopic but it hasn’t been ruled out yet. I still get the pain on my left side from time to time. Some days are worse than others, but its not crippling or getting progressively worse or anything scary. I’ve been getting other sorts of dodgy pains going on down there.

On the symptoms front, it’s still mainly sore bbs and painful nips; though not as sore today as the past few days, but I’m not going to worry about it. They also itch from time to time. I’ve been peeing less often than I normally do; which is VERY unusual for me (and a welcome break, actually. Thank God!). I’ve always had the problem of peeing like a fish in heat. When I was younger my mum took me through a bunch of urologists in different hospitals and none of them could explain why I always peed a lot. When I say pee a lot, I don’t mean I used to wet myself, more like I could drink a glass of water right now and pee three to four times within the next 30minutes. The last doctor I saw in my early twenties mumbled something about my body not being able to hold unto potassium, and that was the end of it. I pretty much accepted that I can’t hold water and will always pee like a fish for the rest of my life.

To be honest I haven’t been looking forward to the symptom of ‘peeing a lot’. Thank God it has eluded me so far even though I’m thirstier these days. In the last 2 hours I’ve drank at least half a litre of water and have only peed twice; which is nothing short of a miracle!

I get tired easily and I’m constantly yawning. No nausea or sickness yet. I get dizzy while praying; when I go from prostrating to standing up. Loss of appetite but no food aversions. I’ve heard that the nausea really hits after 6 weeks. To be honest I just want to know that I have a healthy baby. I’m not hankering for nausea and vomiting even though they are the hallmarks of being pregnant. Every pregnant woman prays for nausea, no thanks to the old wives tale that the sicker you are the healthier your baby is. Bullshit! Such things make you worry to death for nothing. I’ll be thanking my Lord and rubbing my hands with glee if nausea and sickness pass me by, lol…

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Four Simple Ways to Lose Belly Fat

An expanded midsection is a hallmark of typical PCOS.

It appears to be caused primarily by eating the wrong things, a sedentary lifestyle, and hormonal imbalances. The two most important hormonal imbalance contributing to belly fat are excessively high insulin and the stress hormones such as cortisol.

To the extent you can remove these causes, your waist will shrink.

Here's what to do.

1) Add more fiber to your diet.

The University of Southern California studied 85 overweight teenagers for two years. They found a link between fiber consumption and weight.

Those who consumed less dietary fiber increased their belly fat by an amazing 24%. Those who increased their dietary fiber reduced their belly size by 4%.

Sources of fiber include: vegetables, fresh fruit, raw nuts and seeds, and whole grains.

A good goal would be to consume at least five servings of freshly prepared whole vegetables per day, as recommended by the new federal government dietary guidelines. Try this for 3 months. You will be pleasantly surprised!

2) Avoid all foods and beverages that contain added fructose and other sweeteners.

3) Reduce your exposure to chronic stress.

Reduction of stress is important because research from the University Hospital of Essen in Germany has shown that women with PCOS are more sensitive to stress than other women are. This means you're more likely to produce stress hormones like cortisol and thus encourage abdominal fat production.

The Natural Solution for PCOS and Infertility e-book has an extensive chapter on how to manage stress. Take a look at that chapter for some stress reduction ideas.

4) Exercise!

Diet is great for weight loss. But if you want to make your waist smaller, you will also need to exercise, according to a study at Syracuse University.

In this study, 33 diabetic women were divided into "diet only" and "diet plus exercise" groups. Since diabetic women typically have belly fat problems similar to PCOS women, this study is of interest.

Both groups -- diet only, or diet plus exercise -- had an average weight loss of 9.9 lbs over a 3 month span.

However, only the "diet plus exercise" group had a loss of visceral fat, which is the belly fat that surrounds internal organs.

In other words, you can lose weight with diet alone. But if you're also intending to lose abdominal fat, you'll need to add regular exercise and physical activity to your healthy diet program.

Any exercise is good, but you'll want to devote some of your exercise to strengthening and toning your abdominal muscles. This will give your midsection more definition.

A good way to improve abdominal muscle tone is with simple push-ups.

Source: http://www.ovarian-cysts-pcos.com/news132.html#sec2

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For many years I’d been trying to get rid of belly fat by doing sit-ups and other tummy trimming exercise. However, what I found was that adopting the lifestyle changes above, with regular walking and aerobic exercises my belly fat went away without me needing to do back-breaking sit ups. What I learnt is that specific exercises targeted at specific areas of the body don’t work unless it’s combined with general aerobics. When you burn fat, it naturally burns away the fat wherever you accumulate it most, especially if it's your tummy. 

Standing straight and keeping the tummy 'sucked in' not only helps to keep the muscles toned, it also gives you a flat belly over time. 

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BFP!

Finally gave in yesterday and bought a cheapie pregnancy test at the pound shop. I can't believe we're finally pregnant. I'm still in shock!

Luckily I got an early appointment tomorrow to see the GP. Need to rule out ectopic pregnancy because I ovulated from the side with the blocked tube and I've been having some pain on that side off and on for a few days now. I'm happy but I can't be too excited because of the looming possibility it could be an ectopic. That would just break my heart.

I'll update on how it goes tomorrow. Please pray for me.

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So, I had a scan this morning and the doctor said it's too early to say if it is ectopic. She did confirm that there is a 'sac' although it's too early to tell if there's a baby developing in it. When I suggested that maybe the pain was being caused by cysts, she said my ovaries looked clear and she couldn't see any cysts on them (strange).

I'm trying not to focus too much on the pain. I assume if its ectopic the pain should get progressively worse as the sac grows bigger, but this particular pain I feel has been pretty consistent since the day I ovulated. I also had it last month all through from ovultion to AF. The doctor said I should get booked in for another scan in 10 days for a definite confirmation, but, if I feel any pain before then I should take some paracetamol and if it gets worse, check myself into A&E immediately. I'm praying I wouldn't need to. I'm also praying there's a baby growing in there in the right place.

I'm so glad the doctor that did the scan was female.

So far no other symptoms apart from my usual PMS ones. I'm a bit worried I'm not getting more symptoms as you would expect when you're pregnant. As a matter of fact I feel great and strangely energetic. I need to stop worrying, whatever will be will be. Allah made me conceive on the tube that was blocked. Why am I worrying myself to death about what will happen next?

There's an ancient Yoruba proverb that literally translates to: Whoever does not have a child will be killed by a child. Whoever has a child will also be killed by a child.

It means when you don't have children the yearning/longing/desire to have one will weigh so heavily on your mind that it becomes a problem for you and conversely when you do have children, you worry so much about them that, again, it becomes a problem for you.

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For some reason I can't open my main blog page but thank you  for your comment MFM; Jazakallah, honestly it really made my day sis, :) And thanks for 'coming out of the closet' as it were, lol... I'm glad to know you follow my blog. I appreciate the dua, may Allah bless us with what is good for us in this Dunya and in the Aakhirah, Amin. I'm trying to relax, hehe...

IUI Update & Suspected BFP!

I finally got a call yesterday from the nurse booking me in for the information session in 2 weeks time. It was such a relief when she called that I was too numb to exude excitement. She had that expectation in her voice, you know, the same kind you have when you've just given someone a birthday present. Aaaaanywho, Dh and I were excited. It was good news.

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Another thing I wasn't expecting was to not see AF. She was due the from the 9th onwards. Strangely I've been having AF-like cramps off and on for the past 3 days. On Tuesday, I went to the toilet and wiped and there was some brown stuff on there. I was so convinced she would show up since then, but the coloured CM went away and now it's as dry as the sahara desert down there. Which is typical around this time anyway.

I don't have any other symptoms other than my usual PMS symptoms.

I pee-ed on an OPK this morning - actually, 3 OPKs to be precise - and they all came back with test lines much darker than the control line. I know OPKs aren't good at detecting pregnancy but that's all I can do for now. I'm not going to waste £5 on a pregnancy test only for it to turn out negative (wasted too much  money in the past)  so I'just wait till next week Tuesday. I have an appointment to try and convince my GP to issue a new prescription of Metformin even though he told me to come off it last year when I was reacting very badly.

Either ways, I'm looking forward to our information session so we can get a move on IUI and see where we end up. I'm so glad we're finally 'starting' something instead of just sitting around twiddling our thumbs, lol...

Please keep me in your prayers. I pray God blesses you and answers yours too (Amen).

The Truth About My Facebook Friends

My main reason for hanging out on Fb is to keep an eye on my family and a handful of close friends. Seeing as I have them scattered all over the world, Fb is way cheaper than long distance calls and certainly less of a 'deliberate exercise' than emails. Especially when you just want to shout out a few lines like, 'Hope you're okay'. Fb is also all-encompassing, you can chat, share pictures, tag many people in the same message, send them all your love and kisses and be over and done with. Finally, with literally everyone on Fb, all your eggs are in one basket, so so speak.

A recent study suggested that people feel closer to their virtual Fb friends, even those they've never met, than they do friends in real life. Really?

I have 109 'friends' on Fb. In real life I only have about 5 friends whom I can count on. By that I mean people who wouldn't hesitate to give me their blood should I, for some unknown reason, began to bleed profusely out of my eye balls. Needless to say I've always had my reservations about having high numbers of friends. Nowadays I refuse a lot of requests and have even 'shed' some people whom I don't think add value to my life. I think the more vacuous a person is, the more vain they are, the more readily they lift up their skirts, the more friends they are likely to amass on Fb.

For me, once the initial fever or seeing someone you'd last seen when you were both in diapers wore off, the whole Fb business began to rub me the wrong way. Fb friendship is the kind of friendship that leaves you to choke on your own vomit after a status update telling your 'friends' you may have had a bit of fish bone stuck in your throat. In other words, you may feel close to them, but when it comes to the crunch it's your REAL friends that will bail you out.

Admittedly I've had online relationships in the past and the bond you form can be stronger that that which you can have with people in the flesh. However, that was way back when I was young and stupid and now I realize that there would have to be a huge element of seeing through rose tinted glasses for one to truly value such a relationship more than they would with a real person.

Majority of my current Fb friends are at most mere acquaintances, who, from time to time, update the bits and pieces about their life that they want people to know about.

Last week, on a particularly frustrating day I logged in and it dawned on me that my life is so far removed from those of my so called friends. We're all going through different cycles in our lives and even the ones that used to be my 'best friends' don't even know what's going on in my life right now. It made me question if indeed we had a friendship; or if just happened to rub elbows because we were close enough to do so.

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While I'm on the subject of whinging, I'm still waiting on the nurse to get back to me about the IUI treatment. I called them last month, was told they'd call me back. Didn't hear from them in 4 weeks. When I called again today, I was told the same thing. When they didn't call back after two hours, I called them again, only to be told the nurse couldn't get back to me last time because she was on her annual leave and that this time she was seeing a patient and would definitely get back to me. I'm still waiting.

I really appreciate the NHS and all the help they've given me so far in tackling PCOS and in TTC, I know IUI is free, I also know there has been swinging cuts in the sector. If the treatment is no longer on offer, I'd much rather know sooner than later. What's worse than waiting is not knowing if you're waiting in vain. My patience is running thin, to be honest. If it's not going to work, I'd like to move on and focus on other things.